


The Man Who'd Love To See You Smile

by frantic65



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 14:00:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10362021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frantic65/pseuds/frantic65
Summary: A Future Fic One Shot set in the "A Change of Season" universe.Ennis thinks Jack is keeping secrets from him.





	

Ennis nibbled on his thumbnail nervously, watching as his partner became a distant speck on the horizon. It seemed as though all Ennis did anymore was watch Jack leave…or turn away…or brush past him impatiently like he had just done this evening.

Ennis let the curtain silently fall, blocking out the tranquil beauty of the ranch at twilight. It was small as ranches went, but it was plenty big enough for two hard-working men to earn their keep, and even have a little left over for a few luxuries.

They weren’t rich, but they owned the ranch free and clear, something Jack had insisted on taking care of as quickly as possible, knowing Ennis’s biggest fear was that history would repeat itself like when his own family had lost his childhood ranch to the bank, leaving a young Ennis as good as homeless, and orphaned to boot.

Jack knew all of his worries, sometimes even before Ennis knew them himself, but then it had always been that way too. Jack had never had a problem thinking of Ennis before himself, and although it took quite some time for Ennis to realize just how much Jack meant to him, by the end of their first summer together up on Brokeback, Ennis knew his future would be bleak and desolate if Jack wasn’t in it.

It hadn’t been easy, not by a long shot, but one thing Ennis had never doubted was that he was as much the center of Jack’s world as Jack had become everything that mattered to Ennis.

Until recently, that is.

It started quietly, as many storms are apt to do, and at first, Ennis was sure he must be imagining things. Suddenly Jack, his partner in all things but marriage, was shutting him out of his life. He began to find excuses to visit town several nights a week, and while he always came home at a decent hour and never smelled like whiskey or other men, Ennis found himself doubting Jack’s love for him for the first time in the ten years they’d been together.

Ennis tried to approach the subject a few times, but conversation was never his strong suit, and to be honest, talking about this strange yet strong thing they shared, being two men after all, made him feel uncomfortable and anxious.

His anxiety grew as the days passed and Jack seemed to grow farther away, sometimes seeming to look through Ennis instead of seeing the living, breathing man before him. In the past, anytime they’d had a misunderstanding or miscommunication, Jack had come to him and sat with him, often making a night fire in the pit behind their house, knowing that the familiar warmth and security a camp fire presented put both of them at ease and ready to face whatever troubles might be brewing.

But this time, there was no reassuring flames to bask in, no quiet conversations as they looked out over the comforting darkness that spread out over their land and the life they had made together. No warm arms closing around him, pulling him against a solid chest so he could lie together with Jack, peacefully admiring the millions of stars in the night sky that gently glowed above them.

Jack would run a loving hand through his hair, and ask him what exactly he saw up there in the Heavens, the gentle breath against his ear causing an involuntary shudder to course through Ennis’s body. He would mumble a response, and Jack would always tell him he was a piece of work and kiss the top of his head.

That was the opening to their discussions, and once they got past this ritual, Ennis found he was able to listen to Jack’s concerns, and likewise tell Jack if something was weighing on his own mind. But the firepit had remained cold and dead for many weeks now, and Ennis found himself kneeling before it on more than one night, fingers digging through the forgotten ashes, searching for an answer, yet unsure what question it was that he should be asking.

Their ranch was fairly isolated, not too far from town, yet with distance enough that no one cared that they were two men shacking up together way out in the middle of nowhere. So, when they were tangled together before their fire, Ennis always felt as though they were back up on that mountain in the summer of ’63, and usually once they’d worked out whatever was stressing at them, their mouths would begin to speak a completely different language. One that needed no words, only touch and feeling, strong arms that cradled and warm lips that tasted the essence of shared sweat and semen and love.

A sudden anger burned in Ennis’s belly as he threw on a jacket and boots and stalked out to the fire pit. Grabbing an armful of wood, he set the logs in place and watched as the flames caught quickly on the dry kindling. As he fanned the flames, he felt his rage building the hotter the fire burned. It was unfamiliar, this intense flash of emotion, but he recognized it as an echo of the way he had felt all those years ago, when his home and all he loved was ripped away in the course of one tragic missed curve on a dark Wyoming road.

Jack had saved him though, had brought him back from the depths of whatever hell on earth he was fixed on finding on his own, and now, without warning, his anchor was once again disappearing without rhyme or reason.

Ennis added more wood to the fire, sweating from the heat of what was quickly becoming a large bonfire, yet too enraged by his feelings of impending loss and desertion to comprehend how high the flames were actually climbing. He finally stood back when the heat became more than he could bear, and scrubbed roughly at his face as unwanted tears threatened to cloud his vision.

His fists clenched in helpless frustration as he remembered the promise Jack had made to him up on Brokeback Mountain. They had stood facing each other that last morning before Jack had left him behind to go tend to this very ranch that his dying uncle was leaving to him. Jack had held his hand and made him a promise he’d kept for almost ten years. _“I swear to ya, it’ll be all right, Ennis. We’ll make it work together, I promise.”_ Ennis heard the words echoing in his brain and he fell to his knees wondering why after a decade of upholding that vow, Jack seemed to be giving up on him…on them.

“Ennis!!” He could hear Jack’s breathless shout as he raced from the driveway toward the back of the house. “Ennis, where the hell are ya? I think the goddamn house is on fire! Where the fuck are ya, boy?”

Ennis almost smiled at the panic he heard in his partner’s voice. At least it sounded like he still cared if Ennis was dead or alive.

Jack skidded to a stop as he rounded the corner of the house and bent over, panting, hands on his knees, as he struggled to catch his breath and yell at Ennis at the same time.

“What the hell is wrong with ya Ennis? Did ya know ya can see the flames from the main road? I swear I thought the fucking house was burning down.”

“What the hell is wrong with me Jack? Are ya fucking kiddin’ me?” Ennis spoke quietly, annoyance tinged with sadness as he watched his partner…his whole fucking reason for living staring at him like he was insane. “I’ve been watching ya step away from me…from us, for the last few months and there ain’t been a goddamn thing I could do about it. Ya won’t talk about it, and you’re out the door most nights before suppers even on the table. I feel like I live with a ghost or a figment of my imagination most days.”

Jack straightened up and sent a wry glance in Ennis’s direction. “So ya decided to burn the house down to get my attention?” Their eyes locked and a whisper of a smile passed across Ennis’s face.

“Well…no…I was just remembering the ways we usually…reconnect…and before I knew it, I had a four-alarm blaze on my hands here.” Ennis knew his face was flushed from more than just the heat, but at the same time a part of him was so grateful that his Jack was finally making an appearance after such a long absence.

Jack crossed the distance that separated them and knelt down next to Ennis. “I guess this is your way of hinting that we need to talk?”

“Yeah Jack, I guess it is. It’s my way of letting ya know that….that you’re it for me, bud…have been from that first summer we met and nothing’s ever gonna change that. These past months have been hell, and that’s no lie. But if you’re tired of me, or need to move on, ya got to say so, don’t leave me hanging here half-alive anymore…just tell me. If you’re unhappy, I won’t force ya to stay…or I could leave if that’s what ya want. I just need to know.”

“Ennis…Ennis…no…ya got it all wrong friend.” Jack reached across and stilled Ennis’s nervous and restless hands with his own. “I know I’ve been a million miles away lately, but believe me when I tell ya, it’s got nothing to do with the way I feel about ya…about how much your being here…means to me.”

“Then what, Jack? Huh? How can whatever’s been eating away at ya not have everything to do with us? I thought we were partners in everything…good and bad? “

“We were…are partners.” Jack looked uneasy and Ennis felt a coldness settling inside of him when Jack briefly referred to their partnership in the past tense. Jack sat wearily on the ground and pulled Ennis into the shelter of his arms. “I was just hoping there wouldn’t be need to tell ya…worry ya…not for a while anyway.”

Ennis twisted in Jack’s arms, needing to see his face, watching him carefully in the shadows thrown by the bonfire, hating that Jack was avoiding his gaze guiltily.

“Jack, I’m your partner …there ain’t nothing ya can tell me that would change the way I feel for ya.”

Jack reached out a slightly trembling hand and softly caressed Ennis’s smooth cheek. Ennis reached out with his own hand and cupped it over Jack’s, needing whatever contact he could get with him at this moment. When Jack began to speak, it was in a quiet voice, quite unlike his usual confident tone, and Ennis had to concentrate to hear what it was that Jack was trying to tell him.

“I can see I handled this all wrong Ennis, so let me start by saying I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want ya no more. If I live to be a hundred, that’ll never be the case, so just get that thought right out of your mind.” He pulled Ennis’s face closer to his and rested their foreheads together, both of them spending a precious few moments just enjoying the renewed connection wrought by that simple touch.

Surprisingly, Ennis spoke first. “So what’s been going on, Jack? What’s so goddamn awful, you’d rather avoid me then talk to me about it?”

Jack sighed and finally met Ennis’s concerned gaze straight on. “Things ain’t been going well with the ranch…financially. Economy’s stalled and we’re not getting the prices we used to from our buyers.”

Ennis swallowed nervously, but he didn’t interrupt and didn’t look away, waiting for the rest; for he knew there must be more.

“Yeah well, it’s been getting tough to meet all our expenses, even just the basics, and lots of ranches been borrowing against future sales, or using their land and equipment as collateral for bank notes.” Jack paused and worried at his bottom lip waiting for Ennis’s response.

“Are you trying to tell me we’re gonna lose the ranch, Jack?” Ennis fought to remain calm, and uttered a silent prayer that the man he’d loved for the past ten years of his life hadn’t been keeping something that important a secret from him.

“No…Shit…No…Ennis!” Jack looked horrified at the thought and grabbed Ennis by the shoulders to reassure him. “Jesus, I am fucking this up royally! We’re okay, we don’t have a lot of debt, and we’ve always kept on top of repairs and kept our overhead to a minimum. It’s just profits have been flat and down a bit for the past few quarters and it’s been worrying me enough that I guess I’ve been a little distracted recently.”

“A little distracted? Jack, I feel like you’re just a figment of my imagination sometimes ya been so distant.” Ennis let himself be pulled into a warm embrace for a moment, accepting Jack’s murmured, “I’m so fucking sorry,” whispered against his ear, before pulling gently back to continue the conversation.

“Why didn’t ya just tell me, bud? We agreed to be equal partners in this operation, in our life together. I know I don’t have much of a head for the business end of things, but ya should have told me. Were ya afraid I was gonna blame ya for the shitty economy?”

Jack’s gaze wavered, and Ennis narrowed his eyes as a thought occurred to him. “Ya thought I was gonna leave ya, didn’t ya? Ya thought that if I found out things with the ranch were getting rocky, I’d change my mind about being with ya.”

“Of course not!” Jack denied quickly…too quickly. Then Jack looked away, and Ennis knew that he was right. The truth was like a knife to his heart, and Ennis felt sadness tinged with anger flood his soul as he realized that he was just as much at fault as Jack when it came to hiding things. Even after ten years, Jack still couldn’t believe that Ennis had really chosen to be with him for life, not just while things were going good, or until something better came along, and the reason for Jack’s doubts rested solely with Ennis and his inability to tell his man how happy his life was with Jack in it.

Jack continued on, oblivious to the self-loathing Ennis was experiencing before him. “Anyway, I decided to get a part-time job to bring in some extra income, so I picked up an evening shift a few nights a week at the hardware store in town. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but damn, what ya must be thinking I been up to.” Jack’s explanation stuttered to a halt as he caught a glimpse of the haunted look on Ennis’s face. “Ennis?”

“Jack I’m sorry, ya must think I’m a total ass. All these years, I just let the bulk of everything rest on your shoulders, expecting ya to take care of every little thing for me. No wonder ya tried to handle this alone, I’ve never given ya any reason to think I’d be interested or have any sort of solution to offer when it comes to the success or failure of this ranch.”

Desperate to remove the miserable expression on his man’s face, Jack grabbed Ennis’s hands and stroked his palms slowly, trying to offer what comfort he could. “No Ennis, it ain’t like that at all. I promised to take care of things all those years ago if you’d just give us a chance and make a life with me here on this ranch. Ya held up your end of the bargain from the start. A deal’s a deal.”

“But Jack, I never took that promise to mean that you’d have to single-handedly solve every problem that came our way until our dying day. We’re partners, darlin’, and I expect ya to treat me as such from now on. No more sheltering me from the realities of the life we have built here together, no more worrying that I’m gonna hightail it out of here at the first sign of a bump in the road.” 

Jack searched Ennis’s eyes and laughed at what he found there. “I only wanted ya to be happy, ya know?” He leaned forward and joined their lips together, before pulling back and stroking his hand through Ennis’s hair. “I’m the man who loves to see ya smile.”

“Well, guess what Jack Fuckin’ Twist? You’re the man I love…period.” Ennis leaned back with his head pillowed in Jack’s lap, still warm within the now diminished fire’s glow.

Jack continued to play with Ennis’s sweaty curls as they watched the stars twinkling in the night sky above them, before asking him teasingly. “Anything interesting up there in the Heavens?”

“Naw…only thing interesting me right now is one handsome earthbound rancher name of Jack Twist.” And he reached up and grabbed the back of Jack’s neck, pulling their lips together again.


End file.
